Why I Hate XP

Microsoft still hasn't proved that a 1000 monkeys at a 1000 keyboards will ever create an OS worth even the cheapest 10 Gig drive required to install it.

In this brief essay I will prove beyond all and any doubt that Microshaft's latest OS release is an abominination that wouldn't even deserve disk space on a lousy Apple box.

Microsoft is very clever. They always seem to be on the verge of an intelligible and functional OS. Gates' best offering was the version of DOS that he bought from that long forgotten company whose owners are probably still walking in circles mumbling incoherencies. But soon he morphed that into Windows 3.-something, that you can see running in 7/11s and unrated banks to this day. Ironically these institutions are probably the only winners in the Microsoft game, having never upgraded the horrific OS.

But wait! Threatened by the progress of Apple's stolen "Mac" interface, M$ came out with Windows 95. This proved to be the biggest piece of shit since Goliath visited the Sizzler all-you-can-eat shrimp buffet.

Oh! Then realizing they couldn't compete at all -vs- Sun, SGI and the up and coming Linux, Microsloth quickly consumes large amounts of Metamucil and squeezes out NT.

The fact that M$ convinced anyone to choose this abortion called NT is, to this day, one of the greatest mysteries of the universe. However, large numbers of retarded people did choose this "solution", and work it didn't, and the retards were happy.

Windows 98 is introduced - In a breakthrough product release, M$ makes their counter-productive and since-been-outdated technology available to the masses. And the masses bought this horrid atrocity in great numbers, and the concept of "Operating System" was forever tainted.

Next came the bug fixes called Windows 98 SE and Windows ME.
Poor M$ victims thought they had the end-all to computer woes: Windows 2000, but wait! They didn't hear the notice that "Millineum Edition" does not translate to "2000", and once again, the retards were further confused.

(God this is tiresome) And then came Winblows XP - the solution to everyone's problems, and it was accepted. Millions of Microshaft Borg ran out and spent hundreds of dollars on software that could not be easily transferred between machines. They dutifully submitted their identities to the mothership and jumped head first into one of the most horrific user interfaces or operating systems ever created to date. And they were happy, and drips of slobber came from their mouths, and doctors prescribed them more and more medicines.

Why Does XP Suck?

OK, here are some scientific results from recent scientific studies that prove scientifically why XP sucks:

  • Mr. Roger's Neighborhood

    That god forsaken network browser that M$ came out with years back is now, again, hidden for users. I spent an hour trying to figure out WTF that thing was hidden in XP, and I'm not at all happy about it.

  • The Amazing ever-changing user-interface!
  • You thought the odious talking paper-click was worthy of going postal? Try the new morphing XP interface. It is directly from the maw of hell. Satan himself designed it.

  • Nevermind the interface, check out these cartoons!
  • For all that XP lacks in useability and intuitiveness, it makes up in comedy. Hey! Check out the new cartoon computer icons! Whoo! Hey look at these!!! The garbage can looks like a nice cartoony shot glass now, That's Cool!

  • Relearn M$ (again)
  • The entire interface, once again, needs to be re-learned. That's hell.

  • It sucks
  • - XP sucks, and that has been scientifically proven in a laboratory.

And so now you know the truth behind the M$ conspiracy!

Comments

Lets start by saying all

Lets start by saying all Micro$oft is out for is world domination to generate the endless billions they desire.
windows 2000 pro is the best they put out (on a fast machine) its stable ,no activation and or phone home features.
The Reason xp sucks is the activation,spying,and general phone home to micro$oft bulls**t. When you install windows your the admin straight off
by default those of us who know better run as restricted user and use the "run as" feature in xp and 2000 pro. XP home is an abombination
you can't even run as restricted user because you have no security features such as file permissions to give yourself permission to do so. You can set the permissions in "SAFE MODE" WTF no wonder why it is the most hacked OS in the world. This is all by design, M$ is making things insecure and buggy on purpose so they can push the "TRUSTED COMPUTING PLATFORM" also known as palladium or tcpa. They do nothing to warn people
not to run as administrator. Here is the sad truth john or jane user go to walmart and by that shiny HP or Compaq hey maybee even a Dell
they plug the damn thing in put it on the web and they are OWNED by hackers,spyware and viruses with hours (probably minutes). The worst part is those stupid "security center trials" they come with after 90 days they are up and these people just let it go unprotected. I know I have formatted dozens of nearly brand new pcs because of this crap,one guy who thinks he's a gamer even went as far as to open the task manager
and disable his free antivirus I setup for him to make his game faster(moron) instead of just buying faster hardware he puts the security and his banking info at risk(MORON). Bottom line w2k pro is good no activation stable and fast(recommended).Both w2k pro and xp pro (corp) are good as long as you disable as many sevices as possible close as many ports as possible run as restricted user and be behind a router(recommended).
Also avoid the windows update website use autopatcher xp or autopatcher2k, the less contact you have with microsoft severs the better off you will be. Since I started using autopatcher xp pro corp stability incresed 1000% Micro$oft was probably purposly giving me bad files to corrupt
my invalid copy of xp pro corp (I actually bought an OEM XP PRO) but I don't fell I should have to call those scumbags everytime I formatt the drive or upgrade some hardware component so I still use the corporate copy.
So alot of the windows problems are Micro$softs lack of warning the pc owner (the average one) about not running as admin and the pc owners ignorance of this and lack of desire to learn about anything besides how to get to thier favorite website.