Microsoft still hasn't proved that a 1000 monkeys at a 1000 keyboards will ever create an OS worth even the cheapest 10 Gig drive required to install it.
In this brief essay I will prove beyond all and any doubt that Microshaft's latest OS release is an abominination that wouldn't even deserve disk space on a lousy Apple box.
Microsoft is very clever. They always seem to be on the verge of an intelligible and functional OS. Gates' best offering was the version of DOS that he bought from that long forgotten company whose owners are probably still walking in circles mumbling incoherencies. But soon he morphed that into Windows 3.-something, that you can see running in 7/11s and unrated banks to this day. Ironically these institutions are probably the only winners in the Microsoft game, having never upgraded the horrific OS.
But wait! Threatened by the progress of Apple's stolen "Mac" interface, M$ came out with Windows 95. This proved to be the biggest piece of shit since Goliath visited the Sizzler all-you-can-eat shrimp buffet.
Oh! Then realizing they couldn't compete at all -vs- Sun, SGI and the up and coming Linux, Microsloth quickly consumes large amounts of Metamucil and squeezes out NT.
The fact that M$ convinced anyone to choose this abortion called NT is, to this day, one of the greatest mysteries of the universe. However, large numbers of retarded people did choose this "solution", and work it didn't, and the retards were happy.
Windows 98 is introduced - In a breakthrough product release, M$ makes their counter-productive and since-been-outdated technology available to the masses. And the masses bought this horrid atrocity in great numbers, and the concept of "Operating System" was forever tainted.
Next came the bug fixes called Windows 98 SE and Windows ME.
Poor M$ victims thought they had the end-all to computer woes: Windows 2000, but wait! They didn't hear the notice that "Millineum Edition" does not translate to "2000", and once again, the retards were further confused.
(God this is tiresome) And then came Winblows XP - the solution to everyone's problems, and it was accepted. Millions of Microshaft Borg ran out and spent hundreds of dollars on software that could not be easily transferred between machines. They dutifully submitted their identities to the mothership and jumped head first into one of the most horrific user interfaces or operating systems ever created to date. And they were happy, and drips of slobber came from their mouths, and doctors prescribed them more and more medicines.
Why Does XP Suck?
OK, here are some scientific results from recent scientific studies that prove scientifically why XP sucks:
- Mr. Roger's Neighborhood
That god forsaken network browser that M$ came out with years back is now, again, hidden for users. I spent an hour trying to figure out WTF that thing was hidden in XP, and I'm not at all happy about it.
- The Amazing ever-changing user-interface!
- Nevermind the interface, check out these cartoons!
- Relearn M$ (again)
- It sucks
You thought the odious talking paper-click was worthy of going postal? Try the new morphing XP interface. It is directly from the maw of hell. Satan himself designed it.
For all that XP lacks in useability and intuitiveness, it makes up in comedy. Hey! Check out the new cartoon computer icons! Whoo! Hey look at these!!! The garbage can looks like a nice cartoony shot glass now, That's Cool!
The entire interface, once again, needs to be re-learned. That's hell.
- XP sucks, and that has been scientifically proven in a laboratory.
And so now you know the truth behind the M$ conspiracy!
Comments
Keeping in mind that when I first laid eyes upon the original IBM PC I stated "Who in his right mind would buy this piece of sh*t.", Winblows has been my bete' noir since its inception. Of all OS's I have been obliged to learn, RSTS, Primeos, Apple Dos, Aegis, SCO Unix, Linux, even programming in actual, none approach Winblows in shear frustration. Yet, no vendor will support alternative platforms if they can avoid it.
So here I go again, Solidworks demands Winblows XP and I grit my teeth and bend over again. It is a darn good thing for Mr. Gates the application vendors are so loyal.
For the record, I run what will eventually become everyone's OS: Linux.
They say....when something is really, really, funny...., it must be true and hit home. I am still laughing about this web site...., frankly because it hit home......, heck with that BS, it hit a home run. I upgraded from ME to XP, mostly because I fell for the "Joesph Gobbels" propandga machine promising the world.....boy did it deliver! Whew...had to catch my breath! Anyway XP, as an update from ME, is the one thing that reminds me of what it was like being circumsized. Shucks...after all those years trying to forget! ME was a nice workable OS. Look out Linux here I come. I believe that Bill Gates is the antichrist!
Thank you for that deeply moving and well-thought-out commentary.
Now you can return to your single-button mouse and run all the 17 apps that came with the Mac you bought Mac for 3x what I paid for my comparable PC.
Have a nice day :)
If we the end-users would just NOT buy anymore of this hideous software or buy from the computer makers that force it upon us ,we could put a stop to this. We dont buy , changes will HAVE to be made. That simple..I REALLY wish people would start to read the "end user" agreements and see whats going on, it's crazy to agree to these things.Learn to SAY NO not complain on message boards.
Say NO to product activation/hidden processes by NOT buying it ! Seems most people (not aware) like XP and along with this they send the signal that software activation/hidden processes are ok , it's NOT.
Want to surf the world without any trace of tracking or privacy issues ?? Buy a shortwave radio :-)
One last thing , where are the smart people in this world ???? cant anybody come up with an easy to use for the masses ,straight forward operating system ?????
I hate XP more than anyone...
I bought my computer from a white box manufacturer, and was talked into getting XP loaded on it by a friend. Since then I have reinstalled Crap XP about 10 times and watched it deteriorate before my very eyes, like watching a coyote chew off it's own leg. Why, because my computer came with the first OEM release of XP... similar to a plastic engine in a car. If I even try to update it using Microsuck Update... it completely crashes my computer and leaves about 500Mb of garbage which are now system files! Joy. Of course, the software & hardware I have spent my hard cash on does not support Linux, so I think I'll go kick myself in the nuts again and try to install a different version of Windows.
(P.S. - Windows ME is pretty cool)
I hate XP as well. I can't believe they call this plastic toy an Operating System. It's so complicated and the wizards are annoying. As long as people are buying this buggy software, TCPA will become mainstream and our lives will belong to satan! Come visit my site and gimme a hand creating something to combat this crap.
*mumble* Goddamn, satan and bill are at it again. "Oi, be quiet up there!"....
I HATE XP FOR IT'S BAD WORK AND ANYWAY THE INTERFACE IS STUPID. I REALLY HATE THESE WIZARDS TO HELP ME TO UNDERSTAND WHAT FUCKING SYSTEM IS WIN XP. I USE WIN2K PRO AND I'M FULL OF JOY AND IT'S THE BEST MICROSOFT MADE AFTER MS DOS! I ALSO USE LINUX BUT IT'S HARD TO COPE WITH COMPATIBILITY!
I too am hating XP. It is crappy and Mr. Fu**ing Gates only gets more $$$. Hey if he can't make an OS that works, then get the fu*k out of the business. I am so glad that I have my Mac to fall back on. Peace dudes
Ryan
re: Why I hate XP
I previously assumed XP was another American phenomenon of the "believe it or not" variety which New Zealanders would have to put up with ( along with McDonalds restaurants, hip hop music and US politicians who say "by gosh" and "golly" without bringing their audience to its knees in tears of laughter)
After reading your site I think the nature of XP icons may not be intrinsically American; in fact its quite possible they haven't even been appended to the US flag yet.
( or have they ?)
I wonder....
Do XP by-gollicons grow up into sane monochrome citizens?
Does a post-adolescent XP refrain from "welcoming" me on to my OWN computer?